Horoscopes for Babies, March 2020
Like horoscopes for adults, but horoscopes for babies.
Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
You are the greatest thing to ever happen, Aries Baby, and everyone is enamored. Everything you do is perfection. Everything you emote is a symphony. Every pair of eyes that meet yours considers themselves incredibly blessed.
Lucky number: 43
Lucky color: pool
Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
It’s not a popularity contest, Taurus Baby, but if it was, you’d win in a landslide. Is it your voluminous spit bubbles? Is it your new ability to roll over on your own? Is it the way you grasp a lock of hair and gently tug? Yes, yes it is.
Lucky number: 99
Lucky color: tangerine
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
You’ve been working on your comedy routine, Gemini Baby, and it’s time to debut. Don’t worry about the bits that don’t feel polished, you’ll work out the details as you learn from your audience. Just put the salad bowl on your head and step into the spotlight. Your time is now.
Lucky number: 18
Lucky color: hyacinth
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
You’ve always been an icon of comfort, Cancer Baby, but you’re really setting trends. You wear PJs all day, now the family does too. You eat seven times per day, they have followed suit. You have no concept of time, they keep asking what day it is. You’re a true thought leader.
Lucky number: 28
Lucky color: cherry
Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
There’s enough of you to go around, Leo Baby, but pace yourself. Your parents, your sibling, even the dog wants you near at all times. Take naps as needed. Remember to hydrate. Let them work out the logistics of who gets to hold you and in what order. That work is beneath you.
Lucky number: 7
Lucky color: vintage blue
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
Things change fast, Virgo Baby, and you should know. One day you’re bald, the next you’ve got a combover. Today, your mouth is a smooth pink cavern, tomorrow teeth are coming. This is how it has always been. Everything will be OK.
Lucky number: 65
Lucky color: sunwashed teal
Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22
Home sweet home is where it’s at, Libra Baby, and that’s fine by you. Traffic between the couch and the refrigerator has picked up, but you’re used to a crawl. Enjoy this time. It’s such a nice place to be, and nice people, too.
Lucky number: 31
Lucky color: daffodil
Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21
One word for you this month, Scorpio Baby: snacks. What is a snack? Anything. (Your toes technically count, but think bigger.) When is it time for a snack? Now. How many minutes should you wait between snacks? Zero.
Lucky number: 54
Lucky color: watermelon
Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
It’s time to take a stand, Sagittarius Baby, and there’s no time like the present. It helps to pull yourself up using a couch, table, or big person at first, just to get your footing. Before long, though, you’ll do it all on your own. Welcome to being bipedal. It’s a big thing here.
Lucky number: 8
Lucky color: green apple
Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
There’s never been a better time to pursue a hobby, Capricorn Baby, so let’s get to it. Whether it’s writing songs from the comfort of your crib, painting your highchair tray with pureed vegetables, or setting records for the number of toys lodged in a toilet—the point is to seize the moment and hone your skills.
Lucky number: 83
Lucky color: lilac
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
Family togetherness is in season, Aquarius Baby, and you have no complaints. In your opinion, this is as it should be, everyone within a short toddle of each other at all times. Mom needs to go to the bathroom? No problem, follow her there. Invite the others. This is how it works.
Lucky number: 19
Lucky color: slate blue
Pisces
Feb. 19 - Mar. 20
What time is it, Pisces Baby? It’s dancing time. All you need is a beat and maybe a soft place to land if you lose your balance. Move your body and beckon the others to join you. Is it nap time? No, it’s dancing time. Is it bath time? No, it’s dancing time. Is it snack time? OK, yes, but then after: dancing time.
Lucky number: 5
Lucky color: tomato