Horoscopes for Babies, October 2019

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

It’s all about networking for you right now, Libra Baby, so don’t think twice before saying yes to every playdate, story time, and Mommy & Me class that arises. Put yourself out there. Offer your binkie to a stranger. Get out of your comfort zone and remember: it’s not what you know in this world, it’s whether or not you know the Muffin Man.
Lucky number: 88
Lucky costume: bumble bee

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Your morals are in question this month, Scorpio Baby, and it’s hard not to feel under attack. Technically, yes, you emptied an entire bag of all-purpose flour and somehow managed to spread it over 214 square feet of carpet as well as the cat, but nobody’s talking about your artistic vision or your impressive physical strength, are they? Stand firm in your values and consider delaying your plans for the tube of glitter until tensions settle.
Lucky number: 29
Lucky costume: Frida Khalo

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Independence is your five-year plan, Sagittarius Baby, but this month you’ll feel a strong pull to retreat. It’s OK to sit when you can stand, be carried where you could scoot, and demand to be held only by Mom one day and nobody but Dad the next. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, so go easy on yourself when you can’t pull your diaper off by yourself in the middle of the night. That day will come.
Lucky number: 16
Lucky costume: carrot

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Loved ones are keeping secrets from you, Capricorn Baby, so it’s time for sleuthing. Everything is a clue and nothing is off limits. Open every drawer, empty every bin, unpack every diaper bag. It’s hard to say what you’re looking for, but you’ll know when you find it. Until you do, never stop asking, “Why?”
Lucky number: 3
Lucky costume: chicken

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

You’re plagued by an urge to reinvent yourself this month, Aquarius Baby, and you should lean into that. Mixing things up and trying something new is your ticket to self-discovery. You don’t have to be who you’ve always been. Try a new hairstyle! Wear your pants on your head! Decide you like butternut squash! Sleep through the night if you feel so inclined! The possibilities of the new you are endless.
Lucky number: 59
Lucky costume: koala

Pisces
Feb. 19 - Mar. 20

There’s nothing that gets you more excited than a problem to be solved, Pisces Baby. The tall bars of your crib once seemed insurmountable, but today they fit nicely in your mouth and even soothing against your teething gums. You’ve done the math and you should be able to Shawshank through them in no time. It turns out that freedom tastes like a child-safe, water-based Acorn finish.
Lucky number: 12
Lucky costume: Slim Jim

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19

Speaking engagements will fill your calendar this month, Aries Baby, as they should. You have a lot to say, and your audiences cannot get enough of your almost-11-words-deep vocabulary. You’ll make the circuit of grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friendly checkers at the grocery store. Give them what they want and enjoy the accolades, but do your best to stay grounded.
Lucky number: 41
Lucky costume: Mr. Clean

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

The big questions of life have your attention this month, Taurus Baby, and you should meditate on each one: What is the purpose in suffering? Where do balloons go when they fly away? Why is the vacuum so mean and scary? How does Grandpa disappear and reappear during Peek-a-Boo? Why is eating ants a no-no?
Lucky number: 2
Lucky costume: ladybug

Gemini
May 21 - June 20

One day you wake up from a nap and the world feels very scary, Gemini Baby. Where once there was a white pillow on the sofa, there now sits a skeleton in an orange bowtie, and your neat-freak parents are adding cobwebs and spiders to the doorway. Have patience. The world will make sense again in November.
Lucky number: 31
Lucky costume: frosted animal cracker

Cancer
June 21 - July 22

It’s all about boundaries for you this month, Cancer Baby, and the easiest way to set boundaries is with the word “no.” Spend the next few weeks saying no to literally everything, regardless if it’s what you actually want. This will confuse everyone, especially when you cry about it, but stand firm.
Lucky number: NO!
Lucky costume: Gus Gus

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

Energy abounds for you this month, Leo Baby, and you are on the move. You’ve crossed the living room a thousand times on your hands and knees, you’ve scaled the sofa, and now your sights are set on the Mt. Everest of stairs. Stand at the gate and wait for your guide to accompany you. Your time is now.
Lucky number: 7
Lucky costume: Rosie the Riveter

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Immaturity has always been your weakness, Virgo Baby, but this month it’s everyone around you who really needs to grow up. Do your best to model wisdom and restraint when your parents discover your secret hiding spot for half-chewed goldfish crackers. Focus on your breath when they retrieve your toy pony from the toilet drain again. It’s just a phase they’re going through.
Lucky number: 19
Lucky costume: sunshine